Posted in Random

GUEST POST: What People think Depression is vs. What it Really is – Miracle Dickson.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to Ruonaahsculture. Today, we have a guest in the house and she’s no other person than Miracle Dickson!

Miracle is a freelancer who has been writing content for over 3 years. She provides ghostwriting, SEO writing, and editing services on Upwork and Freelancer. When she is not engrossed in writing, she loves to cook and travel. She lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria with her family.

Today, our guest will be correcting some misconceptions about depression and she’ll also tell us how we can help our loved ones who are depressed.

Let’s get to the blog post, shall we?

People have so many misconceptions about depression and this makes it difficult to improve the lives of those who face this serious mental health condition. I only just managed to recover from mine.

Depression is a complex health challenge, hence the complexity that leads to various myths and misunderstandings for some people. While some people function relatively well, others may feel too exhausted to do anything. You must realize depression is different for people. This way, you can easily communicate with a family member or friend dealing with it.

Depression is not just sadness.

Depression makes an impact on everything that concerns a person, not just in a form of panic attacks. It is not just someone wanting to die or frowning all the time. Depression could come from feeling horrible guilt. It is the feeling of constant frustration, irritation, endless intrusive thoughts, loneliness, maddening anxiety, feeling disconnected from the world, and constant sadness.

Depression for me, came with so much anxiety. I used to feel frustrated and alone, even when I had people around me. During this period, I noticed a lot of misconceptions from people. They assumed I was fine because I wasn’t having panic attacks or crying in their presence. They saw a girl who posted memes and happy pictures but underneath all these, I was plagued with constant fear and anxiety that I couldn’t fathom.

These thoughts of “she smiles all the time”, “she’s good”, “how can you be depressed”, “You look happy” may be wrong. Smiling depression is a real problem we have to take note of. A lot of people out there are experiencing depression but mask their symptoms, they hide behind a smile to convince people that they are happy. Thus, their depression goes undetected. When people imagine a depressed individual, all they see is someone who looks very sad, unable to have any fun – A depressed person could be a happy-looking brother, sister, colleague, or friend sitting right next to you.

Depression is a serious issue.

Another misconception about depression is that it is not a serious issue but the truth is that it is. You must realize that if you don’t allow open communication with those around you on the severity of depression, people will continue to struggle in silence. Someone I know laughed at me when I opened up about being depressed. I was told to go drink wine, have a good sleep and I’ll feel better. Funny right?

It is reactions like this that make people continue to bite their tongues in fear that they may be ridiculed or not taken seriously. This could lead to putting on a brave face for the people around them without ever healing or working on themselves. Like me, I had to put on a brave face for a while.

Bring your loved ones closer, keep an eye on them, don’t make them believe depression is a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Depression isn’t something you can just “snap out of”. If you make them feel this way, they’ll start trying hard to snap out of it and when they cannot, they feel something is strong with them. Consequently, they feel embarrassed about having depression because they think they should be able to handle themselves.

People can have everything they want still feel depressed.

I noticed that some people think that once you have all you want, you can’t feel depressed. This is wrong. Someone can have a child, a job, a husband, and still be depressed. With the different social media portraying happiness in unrealistic ways, people still feel like they don’t have enough even when they get what they want. This is not a day to talk about social media but you see a good friend who just landed a job, you tell yourself “he has made it in life, he has absolutely nothing to worry about”. No, No, No. Please snap out of that thought. They may look like they are all good but you still need to pay attention to them and look for the signs I mentioned earlier.

Now that you know what depression is, you can help your loved ones by:

  • Learning about what your loved ones may be going through, you could find out more about depression or anxiety. This can help you understand exactly how your loved ones feel.
  • Open your arms towards them, listen, choose a time and place you are both comfortable with. Don’t push them if they don’t want to spill it all, just let them know you care.
  • Take their feelings seriously, acknowledge what’s happening to them, and let them know you understand. Don’t tell them their feelings are weird.
  • Help them find professional support. It may be daunting to see a professional, but you can offer your support by encouraging them to speak to a professional. Not everyone wants to see a professional face to face, you can recommend hotlines.

You’ve read from Miracle and from what she’s told us, depression is not a joke. Please do not downplay how a person might be feeling and also, please try to be sensitive because depression is a serious mental condition.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing? Please don’t air me.

Also, don’t forget to check Miracle Dickson out.

Which of these misconceptions did you have?

Have you ever been depressed? What was it like for you?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in Random

Book Review: Me Before You.

Last Friday, I asked people on my Instagram story what they’d like to read on my blog and about four of them said they’d like to read book reviews and summaries and I’ll be reviewing “Me Before You”, a book by Jojo Moyes published in 2012. It was adapted to a movie in 2016. How cool is that?

Um… I have a confession to make – I’ve never done this before, I’m a virgin to book reviews and I’m shy lol. There’s a reason for this tho’. Reading has always been a means of escape from reality because, with these books, I develop my vocabulary and I’m free to allow my imaginations to run wild. Also, reading books is something I do because I want to and not because I’m being told to do so. I think that’s what takes the fun out of school books. We read them because we have to and not necessarily because we want to. I read random genres which often include romance, thrillers, mystery, and the usual teen fiction.

In a way, I feel like writing a book review means that I have to explain what I’ve read to you and it’s low-key like an exam because I’d just give you a link to where I downloaded the books instead of explaining but what kind of person would I be if I didn’t give you what you asked for?

Let’s get to it, shall we?

ME BEFORE YOU

“Me Before You”, published in 2012 by Jojo Moyes is a novel about two characters who under normal circumstances would not have met but Louisa Clark, a simple but quirky woman who has just lost her job and is looking for another finds herself as a caregiver in the home of Will Traynor, a quadriplegic who gives the first impression as rude and utterly cynical.

However, both of them slowly find a balance and develop a friendship. Will encourages Louisa to come out of her bubble and try new things. Louisa, although hesitant begins to learn about new stuff and lets loose a little and this puts a smile on Will’s face.

In the course of her caregiving, she finds out that Will has plans of his own – he has decided that his suffering is too much and this is not the life he wants to live, especially since he was adventurous by nature, someone who had previously climbed mountains, skydived and traveled the world for fun. Will cannot reconcile his present life with his previous one as he’s stuck in a wheelchair and has to depend on people to do things for him all the time.

When Louisa finds out that he plans to take his life through assisted suicide at a set date, she does all she can to ensure that she changes his mind. She puts effort into planning different activities to show Will that he can be paralyzed and still have a life worth living. She tries to give him some of her happiness but her efforts may not be enough to change his mind.

I saw the movie before I read the book (Me Before You was adapted into a movie in 2016) and I loved every bit of it. This book is not your typical romance novel but to a great extent, it teaches you to appreciate life in every form because there are people who do not have the choice that most of us have. Also, Jojo Moyes shows us that we don’t have to settle because there’s a whole world in front of us. Also, that mediocrity never conquers much.

Jojo Moyes portrays the characters in Me Before You in a way that you can relate to them on many levels and although the novel is mostly written in Louisa’s POV, she adds points of view from other characters to give clarity. She also portrays the wars of quadriplegia, as well as the psychological toll it takes on its victims, straightforwardly. She doesn’t represent life the way we want it to be, but she portrays it as it is – with harsh realities.

This book may cause controversy in the sense that some people do not believe that suicide is acceptable, no matter what. Also, it might seem that all hope is lost to people who are in the same situation as Will. I mean, imagine a quadriplegic having to go through the various emotions caused by “Me Before You”. It will probably depress his/her depression.

However, it was realistic and I cried. A lot. But it was a great read and I’ll probably read it again, seeing as I’ve seen the movie at least three times since 2016.

The book has sequels:

AFTER YOU
STILL ME

I downloaded “Me Before You” from this site. You should read it if you liked this review.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️.

P.S:

How are you doing?

What did you think of my first attempt at reviewing a book?

Have you read “Me Before You” or seen the movie?

Do you think you’d like to read the book?

Please let me know in the comment section. Your responses give me joy! 💜