Posted in Random

GUEST POST: What People think Depression is vs. What it Really is – Miracle Dickson.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to Ruonaahsculture. Today, we have a guest in the house and she’s no other person than Miracle Dickson!

Miracle is a freelancer who has been writing content for over 3 years. She provides ghostwriting, SEO writing, and editing services on Upwork and Freelancer. When she is not engrossed in writing, she loves to cook and travel. She lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria with her family.

Today, our guest will be correcting some misconceptions about depression and she’ll also tell us how we can help our loved ones who are depressed.

Let’s get to the blog post, shall we?

People have so many misconceptions about depression and this makes it difficult to improve the lives of those who face this serious mental health condition. I only just managed to recover from mine.

Depression is a complex health challenge, hence the complexity that leads to various myths and misunderstandings for some people. While some people function relatively well, others may feel too exhausted to do anything. You must realize depression is different for people. This way, you can easily communicate with a family member or friend dealing with it.

Depression is not just sadness.

Depression makes an impact on everything that concerns a person, not just in a form of panic attacks. It is not just someone wanting to die or frowning all the time. Depression could come from feeling horrible guilt. It is the feeling of constant frustration, irritation, endless intrusive thoughts, loneliness, maddening anxiety, feeling disconnected from the world, and constant sadness.

Depression for me, came with so much anxiety. I used to feel frustrated and alone, even when I had people around me. During this period, I noticed a lot of misconceptions from people. They assumed I was fine because I wasn’t having panic attacks or crying in their presence. They saw a girl who posted memes and happy pictures but underneath all these, I was plagued with constant fear and anxiety that I couldn’t fathom.

These thoughts of “she smiles all the time”, “she’s good”, “how can you be depressed”, “You look happy” may be wrong. Smiling depression is a real problem we have to take note of. A lot of people out there are experiencing depression but mask their symptoms, they hide behind a smile to convince people that they are happy. Thus, their depression goes undetected. When people imagine a depressed individual, all they see is someone who looks very sad, unable to have any fun – A depressed person could be a happy-looking brother, sister, colleague, or friend sitting right next to you.

Depression is a serious issue.

Another misconception about depression is that it is not a serious issue but the truth is that it is. You must realize that if you don’t allow open communication with those around you on the severity of depression, people will continue to struggle in silence. Someone I know laughed at me when I opened up about being depressed. I was told to go drink wine, have a good sleep and I’ll feel better. Funny right?

It is reactions like this that make people continue to bite their tongues in fear that they may be ridiculed or not taken seriously. This could lead to putting on a brave face for the people around them without ever healing or working on themselves. Like me, I had to put on a brave face for a while.

Bring your loved ones closer, keep an eye on them, don’t make them believe depression is a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Depression isn’t something you can just “snap out of”. If you make them feel this way, they’ll start trying hard to snap out of it and when they cannot, they feel something is strong with them. Consequently, they feel embarrassed about having depression because they think they should be able to handle themselves.

People can have everything they want still feel depressed.

I noticed that some people think that once you have all you want, you can’t feel depressed. This is wrong. Someone can have a child, a job, a husband, and still be depressed. With the different social media portraying happiness in unrealistic ways, people still feel like they don’t have enough even when they get what they want. This is not a day to talk about social media but you see a good friend who just landed a job, you tell yourself “he has made it in life, he has absolutely nothing to worry about”. No, No, No. Please snap out of that thought. They may look like they are all good but you still need to pay attention to them and look for the signs I mentioned earlier.

Now that you know what depression is, you can help your loved ones by:

  • Learning about what your loved ones may be going through, you could find out more about depression or anxiety. This can help you understand exactly how your loved ones feel.
  • Open your arms towards them, listen, choose a time and place you are both comfortable with. Don’t push them if they don’t want to spill it all, just let them know you care.
  • Take their feelings seriously, acknowledge what’s happening to them, and let them know you understand. Don’t tell them their feelings are weird.
  • Help them find professional support. It may be daunting to see a professional, but you can offer your support by encouraging them to speak to a professional. Not everyone wants to see a professional face to face, you can recommend hotlines.

You’ve read from Miracle and from what she’s told us, depression is not a joke. Please do not downplay how a person might be feeling and also, please try to be sensitive because depression is a serious mental condition.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing? Please don’t air me.

Also, don’t forget to check Miracle Dickson out.

Which of these misconceptions did you have?

Have you ever been depressed? What was it like for you?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in Random, Relationship

SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

  • They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
  • They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
  • They don’t like stress.
  • They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
  • They’re focused on their future.
  • They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
  • They really don’t send anybody.
  • They love their personal space.
  • Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
  • Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

  • Honestly, deck them if you can.
  • Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Be unapologetic.
  • Do not wallow in self pity.
  • Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
  • Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜