Posted in Random

THE DEPENDENCY SYNDROME

Hello!

I’m not about to make excuses for my absence because I was on a well-deserved holiday but I’m back because you missed me.

How have you been? (Please answer this question in the comment box ‘cos I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care). I’ve been okay except that I don’t understand why my money is running away from me. I’ve been receiving debit alerts that I didn’t bargain for. I mean, you breathe – you have to pay for something. You go outside – more debit alerts. It’s not even fun here. Sigh.

I’m not poor in Jesus name but send me money 🤲🏼.

I heard the “dependency syndrome” phrase a few weeks ago and it sounded nice in my head so I made a mental note to myself to publish a blog post on it. Low key, I’m hoping that this doesn’t disappoint ‘cos it’s one thing for a phrase to sound nice, but it’s another ball game entirely when you have to do research based on the phrase in order to curate an entire blog post that people will derive information from. Please read to the end so you can give me feedback.

The Dependency Syndrome refers to the idea that a person or group of people cannot solve its own problems without outside assistance. It is a flaw that has been made worse by charity.

The GIF above is just a child dragging after her mum but it’s an actual representation of what I just explained because the people who suffer from dependency syndrome cannot do anything on their own. Actually, the issue is not that they can’t. It’s that they don’t want to. They would rather depend on others for their survival and in some cases, drag them down in the process. It’s typical leech behavior.

There is nothing wrong with needing assistance from people because there are times when a person will need support and it’s okay. It only becomes a problem when a person becomes totally comfortable with receiving handouts from people without making any real effort to improve his/her circumstances. It becomes an issue of receive today, squander, and wait for the next gift to come without actually doing anything.

If we look around, we’ll find people like that in our society today. They don’t want to work. They’d rather fold their hands and beg from door to door instead of doing something about their situation. You’ll find such people in some extended families where some members are wealthier than the rest and have taken on the responsibility of providing for the others who are not so better off. For example, you give your brother/sister a capital of about 300,000 Naira to start a business so it can become a source of income to his/her family and he/she’s calling you a month later to ask for “assistance” because some “issues” came up and he/she has “no one else” to turn to. What’s it called? Dependency Syndrome.

Also, there are countries that are totally dependent on aid from other countries and will keep borrowing large sums from other countries and keep incurring debts instead of generating different forms of revenue.

If a country relies on aid, it’ll develop a dependency syndrome.

Hussein Mar Nyot

What do we say to people and countries like these?

And no, we’re not giving you any more aid because who came to this world with you? You want people to help you but you’re not helping yourself. Why? Why would you choose to solely depend on people for your survival when it’s not like you’re incapacitated? It’s wrong and it’s not a good look on you because the dependency syndrome is parasitic in nature.

The dependency syndrome in medical terms refers to addiction and in a way, it’s the same thing because the way addicts find it difficult to do without such drugs and alcohol, is the same way people cannot do without asking for help from other people. They become leeches and in a way, the dependency syndrome enslaves them in mediocrity.

Depend on Jesus alone.

Did I mention that the dependency syndrome does not only have to do with financial support? As a matter of fact, when you totally depend on people to make you happy or boost your self esteem, you suffer from dependency syndrome whether you like it or not.

Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.

Fritz Perls

Imagine what people will say about you as a person if you make dependency syndrome a lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with depending on yourself and putting effort into improving your circumstances for a change. You don’t want people to get tired of helping you do you?

Well, hope you have an amazing weekend and Easter! 🥳

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

I’m really serious about this money thing. Where do you guys see this money? 😩

Was this blog post to your liking? What did you get out of it?

What do you think about the dependency syndrome? Do you know people that are solely dependent on others?

What do you do when you begin to notice that a person is solely dependent on you and is not making any effort to help himself/herself?

Admit it – You missed me.

Please drop your comments in the comment box below. There’s this joy that comes from reading and replying to them 💜.

Posted in Random, Relationship

SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

  • They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
  • They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
  • They don’t like stress.
  • They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
  • They’re focused on their future.
  • They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
  • They really don’t send anybody.
  • They love their personal space.
  • Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
  • Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

  • Honestly, deck them if you can.
  • Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
  • Be unapologetic.
  • Do not wallow in self pity.
  • Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
  • Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜