SINGLE SCRUTINY

Single Scrutiny | /ˈsɪŋɡ(ə)l/ /ˈskruːtɪni/ – An annoying critical observation and/or analysis of someone’s single status as if you’re being paid to drop comments or give advice on why the person is single. It’s not your business. Go away.

You’ve probably heard people make statements like “you’re too pretty to be single”, “a fine guy like you shouldn’t be alone”, and “you’ve secured the bag. What’s left is for you to secure a partner”.

You might have also heard this very nice question too – “You’re so beautiful/handsome/talented. How are you still single?”

When you hear people say stuff like these, they sound like compliments but in case you didn’t know, not every single person on the receiving end might see it that way.

I know you’ve made comments like this too. Don’t even lie.

Has it ever occurred to you that some of these people don’t want to hear your pity comments? Have you ever sat back to think that they don’t want to be reminded that nobody is doing couple goals with them? Have you?

Have you even thought that maybe, just maybe being single is a choice for these people and they’re not as miserable as you think they are? Not everyone is in a relationship and I know that nobody ever died from being single.

Being in a relationship is awesome but some people make this whole “being single” thing such a big deal. That’s why you find that some of them jump from relationships to relationships because of pressure or because they’re scared to be alone. That’s not the point tho’. Let’s not deviate.

My issue is with the people who practice single scrutiny. The ones who feel that they should be allowed to play judge and jury over another person’s relationship status. Who sent you? I know the person is your friend and you care but if you keep quiet, nothing will happen to you. It’s because of you the “na single I single, I no kill person” sentence was coined. That’s how you pressured your friend to enter another bad relationship because you won’t keep quiet and you made it seem like being in a relationship is some sort of achievement.

You should be sorry.

Stop. Just stop scrutinizing people’s lives and relationships. Please allow single Pringles to breathe because there’s no crime or shame in being single. Being alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely. As a matter of fact, people can be single for the following reasons:

• They’re chilling, just waiting for the right person to love and appreciate them.
• They would rather be alone than be with the wrong person.
• They don’t like stress.
• They can’t afford the kind of relationship they want right now.
• They’re focused on their future.
• They haven’t given in to peer pressure and they don’t need to impress anyone.
• They really don’t send anybody.
• They love their personal space.
• Not everyone can do the “love thing” (or they don’t wanna try) LOL.
• Being single is not a crime.

So you get?

To the single Pringles that have been heavily scrutinized, don’t mind them.

I can’t believe they told you that if you continue like this, you won’t find your husband/wife. They actually think they have a say. I laugh in toxic relationships. Don’t pay any attention to them. You’re doing great, honey. I know you want to cuddle too but in good time.

How do you deal with people who scrutinize your single status?

• Honestly, deck them if you can.
• Remember that you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
• Be unapologetic.
• Do not wallow in self pity.
• Do not rush into anything. There’s nothing wrong with resting your heart till it’s ready to love again.
• Ignore the judge and jury, focus on you and make you happy.

Wait, wait. Some singles also scrutinize their relationship status.

I’m not going to say much except YOU’RE NOT GOING TO DIE IF YOU’RE NOT DATING SOMEONE! Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be in a relationship. Take time to breathe, appreciate yourself and work on yourself. Your desperation won’t get you that relationship you want, trust me.

Please, stop single scrutiny. A person’s relationship status doesn’t define him/her.

Dear singles, be unapologetic about everything. Your person is going to come and it’s going to be beautiful.

Okay, that’s it. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk (drops mic).

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

Why do you think some people always have stuff to say about people’s single status?

Have you been scrutinized before?

Do you scrutinize people’s relationship status? Dont lie.

Why do you think people stay single?

Why do you think single Pringles should not be bothered?

Please make your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

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Before Your Valentine.

I shouldn’t do this, especially since it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow but if I don’t tell you the truth, who will?

All I want to do is give you friendly advice and I’d like to start by saying:

May you not be stuck in one spot, anchored by the profound, desperate loneliness of a bad relationship.

Can I get an Amen?

There’s no denying that love is a beautiful thing but you’ll agree with me that not all love is love. I have learned from observation that people mistake love for a lot of things and it’s sad. People mistake love for attention, sex, and material things among others but these things don’t even begin to define what love is. Some people are so desperate to be with someone and so scared to be alone that they’ll settle for anything and somehow trick their minds into believing that it’s right.

So, as you do your lovers stuff tomorrow, I just want to remind you that love is so much more than what we see. The moment you realize that in your relationship, you’re beginning to settle, you know that there’s an issue somewhere.

You should mean as much to your partner as they mean to you. You shouldn’t have to fight to be heard in your relationship. Your opinions should matter and you should have more good memories than bad. You should feel the love not just in words but in actions too. Your fights shouldn’t be against each other. You should know that when fights happen, it’s not you against him/her but both of you against the issue. Don’t forget. There should be an effort on both sides because a relationship involves giving and taking.

In the end, we know that there’s no perfect relationship because these things are filled with ups and downs (Cheating isn’t one of them. Don’t even think about it) but in the end, you have to know what you want and be sure that you’re not settling for less than you deserve. You have to be sure that you’re not lying to yourself or making excuses for a partner that does not intend to change. See your relationship for what it is.

As I said, it’s just friendly advice I’m giving to you but if you’re beginning to reconsider your relationship, it’s probably for the best. I mean, why spend so much money and put time and effort into a partner that doesn’t deserve it when you can spend this money on me?

Please, you can send me a dm on Instagram to ask me for my address or account number just in case you want to redirect your gifts. You know I mean well. You can also send pictures and videos to me so I can scream “aww” and “God when”.

Shoutout to every genuine person who does not need a specific day to show love or perform romantic gestures because you do it all year round (I don’t mean the ones that say this as an excuse). You are the real MVPs.

Have a splendid Valentine’s Day.

Love,

‘Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

I didn’t publish last week and nobody looked for me. Wow. Just wow.

I forgive you. How are you doing?

What do you think about people that settle in relationships?

Do you have plans for Valentine’s Day or you’re part of the “aww” and “God when” crew like me?

Please make use of the comment box. You know how much I love reading from and replying you! 💜