Posted in Personal

Work in Progress.

Hi, it’s me again.

I didn’t want this weekend to go without publishing because it has been a minute. I miss being consistent here and if I’m being honest, it’s not entirely my fault. I’ve been trying to catch up with life outside this blog and I haven’t had time to make time. I don’t know if this makes sense but I know you understand.

You see this whole phase? This whole “I’ve graduated from the university” phase? It’s not so simple. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that I’ve been this confused in my entire life. I love being worried about what I’m going to wear and how to settle the never ending dramas in my life but making decisions? Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not hard.

I’ve put off writing about my life after graduation for a while because if I’m being honest, it’s not exactly sunshine and roses over here. Before you begin to say that you don’t trust me, I’ll have you know that social media lies. These past few months have been mind blowing and eye opening. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused or scared because I had my life planned out from the onset and I was so sure that I had everything figured out. I didn’t plan for unforeseen circumstances. It’s not that I lack foresight. It’s just life. Things happen, plans change, and so on but it was pretty hard for me to stop myself from drowning in self-doubt and pessimism. I have learned a lot and I’m still learning.

Weird selfie ‘cos why not?

At this age, I’m glad I know what I know now because my knowledge has made navigating through life easier for me. I’ve realized that this is the point in my life where as much as I have opportunities, there are also limitations, especially financial limitations and I know I’m not the only graduate experiencing this. I realized quite early that I’m not a business oriented person and this is because I have tried on more than one occasion to go into business but business hardly ever works out. I get jobs from time to time and honestly, I wish they were constant but you get the gist already.

Also, I’ve found that I’ve been stressing a lot this period. If you know me, you’ll know that it’s not physical stress. I just drain myself mentally because for some reason, I worry about a lot of things, mostly things that I can’t control. For example, NYSC. When do I start? Where will I be posted to? Will I like it there? Will they even have my size of uniform? The funny thing about all of this is that I know that I’ll go for service. Does this stop me from worrying? No. This is just one out of many.

Another thing is that I don’t like change. I usually find it hard to adjust so I get scared of alterations in my plans and when my plans change, especially when I don’t see it coming, it’s hard to keep my head in the game and I tend to lose focus and it doesn’t take long before I begin to wallow in self-pity and sadness until I’m able to drag myself out of that hole again.

This is a tip of the iceberg but this has been my life for the past few months. I said earlier that I’m glad that I know the things I know now because I’ve been able to identify those things that have been bothering me and instead of drowning in pessimism, I decided to do something about them.

So what are the things I’m doing to get through this annoying stage of my life?

  • I’ve decided to trust in God and in myself. I’m not going to lie and say that it’s easy because there are times when you just find it hard to believe and there are times when I even struggle to pray. There are also times when I forget to encourage myself and I’d wallow in doubt instead but I made a conscious decision not to leave God out of the equation because every single time I look back at where I’m coming from, I realize that there’s no way I would have made it this far without Him. I also decided to always keep saying words of affirmation to myself and reminding myself that I am exactly who I think I am. Anytime I begin to doubt myself, I take time out to list the things I’ve accomplished and that’s all I need to keep pushing.
  • I discovered and rediscovered my interests. Towards the end of 2020, I realized that I was beginning to lose interest in my interests and to an extent, my life was becoming monotonous because I was only doing one thing when I had the opportunity to do so much more. However, at the beginning of this year, I decided to start doing all the things I loved doing again and it has helped a lot. One of the things I love but stopped doing was reading so at the beginning of the year, I set a goal to read at least 50 books this year. I just finished my 22nd book and rediscovering this passion of mine has helped a lot because it’s easier to get lost in different worlds instead of worrying all the time. I also rediscovered my interest in food, music and my friends. It’s a beautiful ride, trust me.
  • I Changed my environment. This happened recently when I had to come back to school for clearance. I decided to stay back a bit and just enjoy this environment and honestly, it has helped a lot because I’ve gotten to see my friends, meet new people, brainstorm on different ideas and so on. It’s been refreshing. I know that I’ll soon start missing my family but the change has been worth it.

So basically, I’m chilling instead of worrying because I know that worrying won’t do me any good. I know that I’m a work in progress and while this stage of my life feels so slow, I know that I’m just starting and I’m going to do just fine. So here’s the update on my life so far in case you were wondering.

Love,

‘Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

I cannot believe that I didn’t publish in a whole month!! Did you miss me?

How have you been?

I’d like you to share one thing that was bothering you and a solution you found for the issue. Please don’t air me.

If you’re a graduate and you’re waiting for NYSC or you’re at a point in your life where things seem so slow, how are you holding up?

To the older ones in this life game, how was it for you when you graduated? What doubts did you face? Any advice?

Please make use of the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in motivation, Random

You Cannot Please the World.

Not everybody will like you and that’s okay. It is fine because how many people do you want to impress really? Thinking about it, what’s there to gain especially if you have to pretend, make yourself uncomfortable and unhappy?

It’s very easy to say “Not everyone will like you” but sometimes, we forget that trying to please people or being concerned about what they think is part of being human. We care about what people think and we often want family, friends, and even strangers to like us. It’s how we’re wired. However, the honest reality is that not everyone will like the way you dress, how you think, and even you as a person. Sometimes, it’s because they don’t know you, and other times, it’s just because nothing you do will ever seem right in their eyes and as I said, it’s okay.

You might also like: You Don’t Need Anyone’s Approval to Feel Better About Yourself.

Have you observed that it can be exhausting when you have to think about what each person will like? You want to please A and at the same time, you’re worried about pleasing B and you put so much effort into what they would like. Sometimes, you don’t even realize that you’re doing it. There was a point in my life where I cared so much about people liking me. I never wanted to get on their bad sides even when I wasn’t happy with whatever situation I was in. I wanted to be everyone’s friend and being everyone’s friend is not easy at all. I mean, people always have opinions on how you should live your life and it’s stressful, trying to fit in with their ideas on how your life should be. I learned that you cannot please everyone so I started filtering whatever opinions people had to give and listening to myself instead. It took a while but when I was finally able to rise above what everyone thought, it became easier.

you cannot please everyone

At first, it would seem like you’re on your own but at least you’re original. Most people often have to sacrifice the true versions of themselves because they want to please a group of people. You’ll find that the version of themselves being presented to the outside world is fake because they often suppress a lot of their opinions and emotions because they want to fit in. In the end, a person may not show the stuff he/she is made of because he/she is too busy letting people decide who he/she gets to be.

Most people often have to sacrifice the true versions of themselves because they want to please a group of people.

Sometimes, we find out that we’ve outgrown certain circles and that’s fine too. This is because, in growth, we learn that some people don’t fit in with what we believe in or that with them, there’s no common goal. Some people realize this and leave such circles but others stay because they’re scared of what people will say. They don’t leave their comfort zone and most times, they don’t fulfil potential because they care about what people will say.

Sometimes, we find out that we’ve outgrown certain circles and that’s fine.

It’s heartbreaking when people don’t get to try something new or develop their ideas because they feel that people will not like it. Why don’t you take the risk and find other people who have the same mind as you and will resonate with whatever it is that’s going on in your head? Some people will say “when you’re in Rome, act like the Romans” but for how long? You’re not Roman.

Truth is that no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you will not be liked by everyone because there are people who won’t like you for no just reason and you’ll just be wasting precious time, trying to please them. I mean, you don’t even like everyone so why should you go through all the stress of trying to make the whole world happy? Just do you and make you happy okay?

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️.

How are you doing? Don’t air me please.

Have you ever been in a situation where you felt you had to please people?

What’s one thing about you that nobody will ever change?

Have you ever left a circle or group of friends because you realized that they were holding you back?

Please put your comments in the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜