Posted in Random

GUEST POST: What People think Depression is vs. What it Really is – Miracle Dickson.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to Ruonaahsculture. Today, we have a guest in the house and she’s no other person than Miracle Dickson!

Miracle is a freelancer who has been writing content for over 3 years. She provides ghostwriting, SEO writing, and editing services on Upwork and Freelancer. When she is not engrossed in writing, she loves to cook and travel. She lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria with her family.

Today, our guest will be correcting some misconceptions about depression and she’ll also tell us how we can help our loved ones who are depressed.

Let’s get to the blog post, shall we?

People have so many misconceptions about depression and this makes it difficult to improve the lives of those who face this serious mental health condition. I only just managed to recover from mine.

Depression is a complex health challenge, hence the complexity that leads to various myths and misunderstandings for some people. While some people function relatively well, others may feel too exhausted to do anything. You must realize depression is different for people. This way, you can easily communicate with a family member or friend dealing with it.

Depression is not just sadness.

Depression makes an impact on everything that concerns a person, not just in a form of panic attacks. It is not just someone wanting to die or frowning all the time. Depression could come from feeling horrible guilt. It is the feeling of constant frustration, irritation, endless intrusive thoughts, loneliness, maddening anxiety, feeling disconnected from the world, and constant sadness.

Depression for me, came with so much anxiety. I used to feel frustrated and alone, even when I had people around me. During this period, I noticed a lot of misconceptions from people. They assumed I was fine because I wasn’t having panic attacks or crying in their presence. They saw a girl who posted memes and happy pictures but underneath all these, I was plagued with constant fear and anxiety that I couldn’t fathom.

These thoughts of “she smiles all the time”, “she’s good”, “how can you be depressed”, “You look happy” may be wrong. Smiling depression is a real problem we have to take note of. A lot of people out there are experiencing depression but mask their symptoms, they hide behind a smile to convince people that they are happy. Thus, their depression goes undetected. When people imagine a depressed individual, all they see is someone who looks very sad, unable to have any fun – A depressed person could be a happy-looking brother, sister, colleague, or friend sitting right next to you.

Depression is a serious issue.

Another misconception about depression is that it is not a serious issue but the truth is that it is. You must realize that if you don’t allow open communication with those around you on the severity of depression, people will continue to struggle in silence. Someone I know laughed at me when I opened up about being depressed. I was told to go drink wine, have a good sleep and I’ll feel better. Funny right?

It is reactions like this that make people continue to bite their tongues in fear that they may be ridiculed or not taken seriously. This could lead to putting on a brave face for the people around them without ever healing or working on themselves. Like me, I had to put on a brave face for a while.

Bring your loved ones closer, keep an eye on them, don’t make them believe depression is a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Depression isn’t something you can just “snap out of”. If you make them feel this way, they’ll start trying hard to snap out of it and when they cannot, they feel something is strong with them. Consequently, they feel embarrassed about having depression because they think they should be able to handle themselves.

People can have everything they want still feel depressed.

I noticed that some people think that once you have all you want, you can’t feel depressed. This is wrong. Someone can have a child, a job, a husband, and still be depressed. With the different social media portraying happiness in unrealistic ways, people still feel like they don’t have enough even when they get what they want. This is not a day to talk about social media but you see a good friend who just landed a job, you tell yourself “he has made it in life, he has absolutely nothing to worry about”. No, No, No. Please snap out of that thought. They may look like they are all good but you still need to pay attention to them and look for the signs I mentioned earlier.

Now that you know what depression is, you can help your loved ones by:

  • Learning about what your loved ones may be going through, you could find out more about depression or anxiety. This can help you understand exactly how your loved ones feel.
  • Open your arms towards them, listen, choose a time and place you are both comfortable with. Don’t push them if they don’t want to spill it all, just let them know you care.
  • Take their feelings seriously, acknowledge what’s happening to them, and let them know you understand. Don’t tell them their feelings are weird.
  • Help them find professional support. It may be daunting to see a professional, but you can offer your support by encouraging them to speak to a professional. Not everyone wants to see a professional face to face, you can recommend hotlines.

You’ve read from Miracle and from what she’s told us, depression is not a joke. Please do not downplay how a person might be feeling and also, please try to be sensitive because depression is a serious mental condition.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing? Please don’t air me.

Also, don’t forget to check Miracle Dickson out.

Which of these misconceptions did you have?

Have you ever been depressed? What was it like for you?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in Fiction, Random

The Gossip Queen (TGQ)

Indomie liked to gossip. She was a professional in talking about matters that didn’t concern her and before you ask, Indomie is not her real name. She was called indomie because she always had mouth-watering gist garnished with lies and exaggeration and most of her listeners always slurped the gist up like noodles.

You see, gossiping comes naturally to people. You cannot deny that at one point in your life, you’ve not said something about someone in their absence because if you look at it, gossip is a casual conversation about other people that will most often involve details that are not true. You’ve probably heard some people justify gossip by saying “there’s nothing I’m saying here that I can’t say to his/her face” and in some cases, it may be true because not all gossip causes harm and if you didn’t know, there’s good and bad gossip. There’s good gossip in the sense that you can talk about someone in the person’s absence and say you’re proud of that person and I’m quite sure that you know that bad gossip comes from a place of hate, jealousy, idleness, or an inability to keep a secret.

Our gossip queen indomie dabbled in all forms of gossip as her mood decided and you can’t exactly blame her because she has always been one to talk a lot and it’s very easy when storytelling comes naturally to you. In other words, she just couldn’t keep her mouth closed and there were always people to listen and encourage her gossip ministry.

Before I continue with this story, you should know that Indomie did not have such a great childhood. She was an only child and she was well catered for but her parents were often busy with work and so, they rarely had her time. Indomie found comfort in school quite young and she made friends easily because they were always drawn to her stories. On days when she had nothing to tell, she ended up making up stories to capture the attention of her audience. Indomie also found out that people liked to listen to personal stories and before long, she started to lie. She’d tell her friends about her new Barbie and Ken doll that used to wake up, talk to her and walk about in her room. She was inspired by Toy Story and she told her friends that Barbie and Ken only spoke to her. Don’t ask me why her friends believed her. You can’t deny that you believed strange things when you were younger too.

As Indomie got older, she started telling people’s stories too. She fed on the satisfaction of always having the attention of her audience. After all, her parents didn’t have her time but her friends were interested in her. They knew she was lying most of the time but who doesn’t like to hear the scoop on the latest relationships or what happens when nobody is watching? The real question should be “how did she know these things?” She was brilliant no doubt and not all her facts were correct but as long as she had a source, her stories were in abundance. Sometimes, I wondered how people confided in Indomie because she’d always spill but even I can not deny that she was quite easy to talk to. The wise ones knew that if they wanted a rumor to spread like wildfire, all they needed to do was tell her and it was a done deal.

One thing you might have observed about gossip is that it’s often done in close circles. You see, gossiping promotes trust in a way because if I’m gossiping with you, I trust that you won’t spill, and even if you have a cause to talk about whatever we may have discussed, I trust that people will not be able to link it back to me. Indomie had a gossip circle – her group of friends. As much as they traded gossip stories, they also shared their secrets and they felt confident that there was an unspoken code of trust. They would gossip about other people but they would not gossip about each other. Gossiping together was entertaining and most times, they did it because they were bored or idle but as you may have guessed, they were not true to one another because as soon as one person left the group, she became the subject of discussion. It was terrible.

Grace, a member of the circle confided in Indomie that she was pregnant for James. She trusted that Indomie would keep this information to herself and not spread it because they were friends. Two days later, Serena had come to ask her about it and Janet had called her careless. How did they know? She only told Indomie!! At the end of the week, everybody had heard about her pregnancy and even had twisted versions of the story. To make things worse, James broke up with her.

There was no way Grace was going to forgive Indomie. Indomie was the only person she had told. She thought she had confided in her friend. She should have known better. Grace vowed that Indomie would go down with her and that was when she started her rumors. She would hurt Indomie with her words too. She went to the circle and told them every dirty secret she had on Indomie and willed them to do whatever they wanted with the information. Indomie started receiving remarks on her deepest darkest secrets and it was just too much for her. Before long, the gossip queen became the subject of gossip. Grace did not hide the fact that she was responsible and even when Indomie tried to retaliate, she discovered that Grace had done irreparable damage to her reputation.

Indomie wanted the humiliation to stop. She wanted to go to school and walk freely without receiving stares of disgust. She tried to talk to Grace, to tell her to take back the words she said but there was nothing that could be done. Her dirty linen was out for the public to see. She was no longer a part of the circle, nobody wanted anything to do with her, nobody wanted to hear her stories and her parents were still not available. Indomie could not take it, she wasn’t strong enough. She decided to end it all.

On her bed, overdosed on pills, Indomie was found dead. Grace would not stop screaming when she heard. All she wanted to do was make Indomie feel the way she felt. She didn’t want her to die. Grace hasn’t forgiven herself and as much as she wants to convince herself that Indomie made her do what she did, she knows she went too far.

They were friends. Indomie made the mistake of spilling her secret. Should Grace have spilled hers too?

Tell me.

Love,

Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing today?

This is purely a work of fiction, and it was not written in reference to anyone, living or dead.

What did you think of Indomie and Grace?

Why do you think people gossip?

What gossip experiences have you had?

Can we ever stop gossips? How do we prevent it?

Please leave your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from and replying them 💜.