Posted in Random

GUEST POST: What People think Depression is vs. What it Really is – Miracle Dickson.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to Ruonaahsculture. Today, we have a guest in the house and she’s no other person than Miracle Dickson!

Miracle is a freelancer who has been writing content for over 3 years. She provides ghostwriting, SEO writing, and editing services on Upwork and Freelancer. When she is not engrossed in writing, she loves to cook and travel. She lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria with her family.

Today, our guest will be correcting some misconceptions about depression and she’ll also tell us how we can help our loved ones who are depressed.

Let’s get to the blog post, shall we?

People have so many misconceptions about depression and this makes it difficult to improve the lives of those who face this serious mental health condition. I only just managed to recover from mine.

Depression is a complex health challenge, hence the complexity that leads to various myths and misunderstandings for some people. While some people function relatively well, others may feel too exhausted to do anything. You must realize depression is different for people. This way, you can easily communicate with a family member or friend dealing with it.

Depression is not just sadness.

Depression makes an impact on everything that concerns a person, not just in a form of panic attacks. It is not just someone wanting to die or frowning all the time. Depression could come from feeling horrible guilt. It is the feeling of constant frustration, irritation, endless intrusive thoughts, loneliness, maddening anxiety, feeling disconnected from the world, and constant sadness.

Depression for me, came with so much anxiety. I used to feel frustrated and alone, even when I had people around me. During this period, I noticed a lot of misconceptions from people. They assumed I was fine because I wasn’t having panic attacks or crying in their presence. They saw a girl who posted memes and happy pictures but underneath all these, I was plagued with constant fear and anxiety that I couldn’t fathom.

These thoughts of “she smiles all the time”, “she’s good”, “how can you be depressed”, “You look happy” may be wrong. Smiling depression is a real problem we have to take note of. A lot of people out there are experiencing depression but mask their symptoms, they hide behind a smile to convince people that they are happy. Thus, their depression goes undetected. When people imagine a depressed individual, all they see is someone who looks very sad, unable to have any fun – A depressed person could be a happy-looking brother, sister, colleague, or friend sitting right next to you.

Depression is a serious issue.

Another misconception about depression is that it is not a serious issue but the truth is that it is. You must realize that if you don’t allow open communication with those around you on the severity of depression, people will continue to struggle in silence. Someone I know laughed at me when I opened up about being depressed. I was told to go drink wine, have a good sleep and I’ll feel better. Funny right?

It is reactions like this that make people continue to bite their tongues in fear that they may be ridiculed or not taken seriously. This could lead to putting on a brave face for the people around them without ever healing or working on themselves. Like me, I had to put on a brave face for a while.

Bring your loved ones closer, keep an eye on them, don’t make them believe depression is a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Depression isn’t something you can just “snap out of”. If you make them feel this way, they’ll start trying hard to snap out of it and when they cannot, they feel something is strong with them. Consequently, they feel embarrassed about having depression because they think they should be able to handle themselves.

People can have everything they want still feel depressed.

I noticed that some people think that once you have all you want, you can’t feel depressed. This is wrong. Someone can have a child, a job, a husband, and still be depressed. With the different social media portraying happiness in unrealistic ways, people still feel like they don’t have enough even when they get what they want. This is not a day to talk about social media but you see a good friend who just landed a job, you tell yourself “he has made it in life, he has absolutely nothing to worry about”. No, No, No. Please snap out of that thought. They may look like they are all good but you still need to pay attention to them and look for the signs I mentioned earlier.

Now that you know what depression is, you can help your loved ones by:

  • Learning about what your loved ones may be going through, you could find out more about depression or anxiety. This can help you understand exactly how your loved ones feel.
  • Open your arms towards them, listen, choose a time and place you are both comfortable with. Don’t push them if they don’t want to spill it all, just let them know you care.
  • Take their feelings seriously, acknowledge what’s happening to them, and let them know you understand. Don’t tell them their feelings are weird.
  • Help them find professional support. It may be daunting to see a professional, but you can offer your support by encouraging them to speak to a professional. Not everyone wants to see a professional face to face, you can recommend hotlines.

You’ve read from Miracle and from what she’s told us, depression is not a joke. Please do not downplay how a person might be feeling and also, please try to be sensitive because depression is a serious mental condition.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing? Please don’t air me.

Also, don’t forget to check Miracle Dickson out.

Which of these misconceptions did you have?

Have you ever been depressed? What was it like for you?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in Personal

Work in Progress.

Hi, it’s me again.

I didn’t want this weekend to go without publishing because it has been a minute. I miss being consistent here and if I’m being honest, it’s not entirely my fault. I’ve been trying to catch up with life outside this blog and I haven’t had time to make time. I don’t know if this makes sense but I know you understand.

You see this whole phase? This whole “I’ve graduated from the university” phase? It’s not so simple. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that I’ve been this confused in my entire life. I love being worried about what I’m going to wear and how to settle the never ending dramas in my life but making decisions? Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not hard.

I’ve put off writing about my life after graduation for a while because if I’m being honest, it’s not exactly sunshine and roses over here. Before you begin to say that you don’t trust me, I’ll have you know that social media lies. These past few months have been mind blowing and eye opening. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused or scared because I had my life planned out from the onset and I was so sure that I had everything figured out. I didn’t plan for unforeseen circumstances. It’s not that I lack foresight. It’s just life. Things happen, plans change, and so on but it was pretty hard for me to stop myself from drowning in self-doubt and pessimism. I have learned a lot and I’m still learning.

Weird selfie ‘cos why not?

At this age, I’m glad I know what I know now because my knowledge has made navigating through life easier for me. I’ve realized that this is the point in my life where as much as I have opportunities, there are also limitations, especially financial limitations and I know I’m not the only graduate experiencing this. I realized quite early that I’m not a business oriented person and this is because I have tried on more than one occasion to go into business but business hardly ever works out. I get jobs from time to time and honestly, I wish they were constant but you get the gist already.

Also, I’ve found that I’ve been stressing a lot this period. If you know me, you’ll know that it’s not physical stress. I just drain myself mentally because for some reason, I worry about a lot of things, mostly things that I can’t control. For example, NYSC. When do I start? Where will I be posted to? Will I like it there? Will they even have my size of uniform? The funny thing about all of this is that I know that I’ll go for service. Does this stop me from worrying? No. This is just one out of many.

Another thing is that I don’t like change. I usually find it hard to adjust so I get scared of alterations in my plans and when my plans change, especially when I don’t see it coming, it’s hard to keep my head in the game and I tend to lose focus and it doesn’t take long before I begin to wallow in self-pity and sadness until I’m able to drag myself out of that hole again.

This is a tip of the iceberg but this has been my life for the past few months. I said earlier that I’m glad that I know the things I know now because I’ve been able to identify those things that have been bothering me and instead of drowning in pessimism, I decided to do something about them.

So what are the things I’m doing to get through this annoying stage of my life?

  • I’ve decided to trust in God and in myself. I’m not going to lie and say that it’s easy because there are times when you just find it hard to believe and there are times when I even struggle to pray. There are also times when I forget to encourage myself and I’d wallow in doubt instead but I made a conscious decision not to leave God out of the equation because every single time I look back at where I’m coming from, I realize that there’s no way I would have made it this far without Him. I also decided to always keep saying words of affirmation to myself and reminding myself that I am exactly who I think I am. Anytime I begin to doubt myself, I take time out to list the things I’ve accomplished and that’s all I need to keep pushing.
  • I discovered and rediscovered my interests. Towards the end of 2020, I realized that I was beginning to lose interest in my interests and to an extent, my life was becoming monotonous because I was only doing one thing when I had the opportunity to do so much more. However, at the beginning of this year, I decided to start doing all the things I loved doing again and it has helped a lot. One of the things I love but stopped doing was reading so at the beginning of the year, I set a goal to read at least 50 books this year. I just finished my 22nd book and rediscovering this passion of mine has helped a lot because it’s easier to get lost in different worlds instead of worrying all the time. I also rediscovered my interest in food, music and my friends. It’s a beautiful ride, trust me.
  • I Changed my environment. This happened recently when I had to come back to school for clearance. I decided to stay back a bit and just enjoy this environment and honestly, it has helped a lot because I’ve gotten to see my friends, meet new people, brainstorm on different ideas and so on. It’s been refreshing. I know that I’ll soon start missing my family but the change has been worth it.

So basically, I’m chilling instead of worrying because I know that worrying won’t do me any good. I know that I’m a work in progress and while this stage of my life feels so slow, I know that I’m just starting and I’m going to do just fine. So here’s the update on my life so far in case you were wondering.

Love,

‘Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

I cannot believe that I didn’t publish in a whole month!! Did you miss me?

How have you been?

I’d like you to share one thing that was bothering you and a solution you found for the issue. Please don’t air me.

If you’re a graduate and you’re waiting for NYSC or you’re at a point in your life where things seem so slow, how are you holding up?

To the older ones in this life game, how was it for you when you graduated? What doubts did you face? Any advice?

Please make use of the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜