Posted in Random

GUEST POST: What People think Depression is vs. What it Really is – Miracle Dickson.

Hello, everyone! Welcome to Ruonaahsculture. Today, we have a guest in the house and she’s no other person than Miracle Dickson!

Miracle is a freelancer who has been writing content for over 3 years. She provides ghostwriting, SEO writing, and editing services on Upwork and Freelancer. When she is not engrossed in writing, she loves to cook and travel. She lives in Port Harcourt, Nigeria with her family.

Today, our guest will be correcting some misconceptions about depression and she’ll also tell us how we can help our loved ones who are depressed.

Let’s get to the blog post, shall we?

People have so many misconceptions about depression and this makes it difficult to improve the lives of those who face this serious mental health condition. I only just managed to recover from mine.

Depression is a complex health challenge, hence the complexity that leads to various myths and misunderstandings for some people. While some people function relatively well, others may feel too exhausted to do anything. You must realize depression is different for people. This way, you can easily communicate with a family member or friend dealing with it.

Depression is not just sadness.

Depression makes an impact on everything that concerns a person, not just in a form of panic attacks. It is not just someone wanting to die or frowning all the time. Depression could come from feeling horrible guilt. It is the feeling of constant frustration, irritation, endless intrusive thoughts, loneliness, maddening anxiety, feeling disconnected from the world, and constant sadness.

Depression for me, came with so much anxiety. I used to feel frustrated and alone, even when I had people around me. During this period, I noticed a lot of misconceptions from people. They assumed I was fine because I wasn’t having panic attacks or crying in their presence. They saw a girl who posted memes and happy pictures but underneath all these, I was plagued with constant fear and anxiety that I couldn’t fathom.

These thoughts of “she smiles all the time”, “she’s good”, “how can you be depressed”, “You look happy” may be wrong. Smiling depression is a real problem we have to take note of. A lot of people out there are experiencing depression but mask their symptoms, they hide behind a smile to convince people that they are happy. Thus, their depression goes undetected. When people imagine a depressed individual, all they see is someone who looks very sad, unable to have any fun – A depressed person could be a happy-looking brother, sister, colleague, or friend sitting right next to you.

Depression is a serious issue.

Another misconception about depression is that it is not a serious issue but the truth is that it is. You must realize that if you don’t allow open communication with those around you on the severity of depression, people will continue to struggle in silence. Someone I know laughed at me when I opened up about being depressed. I was told to go drink wine, have a good sleep and I’ll feel better. Funny right?

It is reactions like this that make people continue to bite their tongues in fear that they may be ridiculed or not taken seriously. This could lead to putting on a brave face for the people around them without ever healing or working on themselves. Like me, I had to put on a brave face for a while.

Bring your loved ones closer, keep an eye on them, don’t make them believe depression is a sign of weakness or a character flaw. Depression isn’t something you can just “snap out of”. If you make them feel this way, they’ll start trying hard to snap out of it and when they cannot, they feel something is strong with them. Consequently, they feel embarrassed about having depression because they think they should be able to handle themselves.

People can have everything they want still feel depressed.

I noticed that some people think that once you have all you want, you can’t feel depressed. This is wrong. Someone can have a child, a job, a husband, and still be depressed. With the different social media portraying happiness in unrealistic ways, people still feel like they don’t have enough even when they get what they want. This is not a day to talk about social media but you see a good friend who just landed a job, you tell yourself “he has made it in life, he has absolutely nothing to worry about”. No, No, No. Please snap out of that thought. They may look like they are all good but you still need to pay attention to them and look for the signs I mentioned earlier.

Now that you know what depression is, you can help your loved ones by:

  • Learning about what your loved ones may be going through, you could find out more about depression or anxiety. This can help you understand exactly how your loved ones feel.
  • Open your arms towards them, listen, choose a time and place you are both comfortable with. Don’t push them if they don’t want to spill it all, just let them know you care.
  • Take their feelings seriously, acknowledge what’s happening to them, and let them know you understand. Don’t tell them their feelings are weird.
  • Help them find professional support. It may be daunting to see a professional, but you can offer your support by encouraging them to speak to a professional. Not everyone wants to see a professional face to face, you can recommend hotlines.

You’ve read from Miracle and from what she’s told us, depression is not a joke. Please do not downplay how a person might be feeling and also, please try to be sensitive because depression is a serious mental condition.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

How are you doing? Please don’t air me.

Also, don’t forget to check Miracle Dickson out.

Which of these misconceptions did you have?

Have you ever been depressed? What was it like for you?

Please put your thoughts in the comment section. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Posted in Random

THE DEPENDENCY SYNDROME

Hello!

I’m not about to make excuses for my absence because I was on a well-deserved holiday but I’m back because you missed me.

How have you been? (Please answer this question in the comment box ‘cos I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care). I’ve been okay except that I don’t understand why my money is running away from me. I’ve been receiving debit alerts that I didn’t bargain for. I mean, you breathe – you have to pay for something. You go outside – more debit alerts. It’s not even fun here. Sigh.

I’m not poor in Jesus name but send me money 🤲🏼.

I heard the “dependency syndrome” phrase a few weeks ago and it sounded nice in my head so I made a mental note to myself to publish a blog post on it. Low key, I’m hoping that this doesn’t disappoint ‘cos it’s one thing for a phrase to sound nice, but it’s another ball game entirely when you have to do research based on the phrase in order to curate an entire blog post that people will derive information from. Please read to the end so you can give me feedback.

The Dependency Syndrome refers to the idea that a person or group of people cannot solve its own problems without outside assistance. It is a flaw that has been made worse by charity.

The GIF above is just a child dragging after her mum but it’s an actual representation of what I just explained because the people who suffer from dependency syndrome cannot do anything on their own. Actually, the issue is not that they can’t. It’s that they don’t want to. They would rather depend on others for their survival and in some cases, drag them down in the process. It’s typical leech behavior.

There is nothing wrong with needing assistance from people because there are times when a person will need support and it’s okay. It only becomes a problem when a person becomes totally comfortable with receiving handouts from people without making any real effort to improve his/her circumstances. It becomes an issue of receive today, squander, and wait for the next gift to come without actually doing anything.

If we look around, we’ll find people like that in our society today. They don’t want to work. They’d rather fold their hands and beg from door to door instead of doing something about their situation. You’ll find such people in some extended families where some members are wealthier than the rest and have taken on the responsibility of providing for the others who are not so better off. For example, you give your brother/sister a capital of about 300,000 Naira to start a business so it can become a source of income to his/her family and he/she’s calling you a month later to ask for “assistance” because some “issues” came up and he/she has “no one else” to turn to. What’s it called? Dependency Syndrome.

Also, there are countries that are totally dependent on aid from other countries and will keep borrowing large sums from other countries and keep incurring debts instead of generating different forms of revenue.

If a country relies on aid, it’ll develop a dependency syndrome.

Hussein Mar Nyot

What do we say to people and countries like these?

And no, we’re not giving you any more aid because who came to this world with you? You want people to help you but you’re not helping yourself. Why? Why would you choose to solely depend on people for your survival when it’s not like you’re incapacitated? It’s wrong and it’s not a good look on you because the dependency syndrome is parasitic in nature.

The dependency syndrome in medical terms refers to addiction and in a way, it’s the same thing because the way addicts find it difficult to do without such drugs and alcohol, is the same way people cannot do without asking for help from other people. They become leeches and in a way, the dependency syndrome enslaves them in mediocrity.

Depend on Jesus alone.

Did I mention that the dependency syndrome does not only have to do with financial support? As a matter of fact, when you totally depend on people to make you happy or boost your self esteem, you suffer from dependency syndrome whether you like it or not.

Our dependency makes slaves out of us, especially if this dependency is a dependency of our self-esteem. If you need encouragement, praise, pats on the back from everybody, then you make everybody your judge.

Fritz Perls

Imagine what people will say about you as a person if you make dependency syndrome a lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with depending on yourself and putting effort into improving your circumstances for a change. You don’t want people to get tired of helping you do you?

Well, hope you have an amazing weekend and Easter! 🥳

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

I’m really serious about this money thing. Where do you guys see this money? 😩

Was this blog post to your liking? What did you get out of it?

What do you think about the dependency syndrome? Do you know people that are solely dependent on others?

What do you do when you begin to notice that a person is solely dependent on you and is not making any effort to help himself/herself?

Admit it – You missed me.

Please drop your comments in the comment box below. There’s this joy that comes from reading and replying to them 💜.