We Don’t Know What’s Up.

I’ve been thinking lately.

7:21 PM, 16/06/22

Picture this: I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, cradling my laptop and musing about how I’m a pro at cooking spaghetti – there was spaghetti and fried fish in my plate 10 minutes ago but it’s empty now. “Adulthood Na Scam” by Lade is playing in the background and I’m singing along to the chorus ‘cos who can’t relate? My phone just beeped and it’s an alert. I’ve just been paid for a job. It’s safe to say that I’m an entire mood.

Today is the day I’ll complete this blog post I’ve put off for far too long. I can’t believe it’s been three months already ‘cos wasn’t March just yesterday? If you’re reading this, thank you. I don’t deserve you. I used to be the “Consistency Queen,” but life happened, and I’ve taken my crown off till I am worthy of wearing it again. I’ve missed you, and I mean it, so please believe me. I hope you’re doing great ‘cos I am. This year isn’t what I expected it to be – it’s been way better, and I’m beyond grateful.

My service year has been pretty fast. I’ll be done with NYSC and Gombe State very soon, and it’s like a movie ‘cos I’ve not even been to all the places I planned to visit. However, this was what I wanted – a service year that would not stress me, and trust me; there has been little stress. I found time to rest, hone my writing skills, earn money, and be generally productive. So far, things have been awesome… or have they?

8:45 PM, 16/06/22

Currently listening to my “I Love Jesus” playlist ‘cos it’s my favorite and I’ve switched positions so I’m lying down and my feet are dangling in the air. I took a break to check social media for a while – no messages. I’m not even surprised ‘cos I’m not toasting anyone and nobody is toasting me.

These past few months have taught me a lot, and there are some things I wish I didn’t have to learn the way I did, but it’s how life works, and lessons are inevitable. It’s better to learn from other people’s experiences rather than making those mistakes yourself ‘cos there are some mistakes you don’t come back from. I’m not the person I was a year ago because my sweat, tears, and other experiences have shaped me. I’ve re-evaluated my life and now know what I want to make out of it.

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11:55 PM, 5/07/22

I’m not listening to music. There’s this cool breeze blowing and I’m sitting on my bed in a position that will most likely give me a backache. Did you notice the date? Yeah, it’s been three weeks since I started writing and I don’t remember the direction this blog post was going ‘cos I’m obviously not the same person I was three weeks ago. Don’t stop reading tho’. We’re unraveling my mind together.

Shutting everyone out isn’t always the best solution, but sometimes, we do it anyway. The best part is that you can’t even feel bad for not checking up on people if they don’t check up on you. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t feel lonely a lot ‘cos I did. Sometimes, I wanted to call my friends, and I’d change my mind ‘cos what was the point? Why couldn’t they call me instead? Not even a text? Maybe I’d imagined the friendships. I had been angry for so long until one day; I received a call from my friend out of the blue. She missed me and had been through a lot, and here I was, stuck in my world, angry because my friends didn’t call me when I could have easily done so. Life was happening to my friend, and I was being so selfish! I called my friends that week.

Friendships and relationships may not always be 50/50, and that’s okay. Just because you’re not communicating with your friends always doesn’t mean they don’t love you. We’re at a point where we want to figure out our lives, and we barely have time for small talk. We have jobs, we’re learning, we’re far from each other (let’s not go into what distance can do to friendships), and we are discovering new versions of ourselves, among other things. For this reason, we have to pick up the slack sometimes. You should care about your friend enough to want to know how they’re doing, even if it feels like you’ve been abandoned – they may be going through stuff you know nothing about.

Sometimes, we fail to realize that not everything is about us. The lives of our families and friends do not revolve around us, and we need to realize that they are also the main characters in their shows, not just supporting characters in ours. As much as we need our friends, they also need us, and if they can’t be there for us, we should be there for them. This selfishness or negligence may make us lose friendships, and nobody wants that, especially if you don’t want to do life alone.

12:50 AM, 06/07/22

I’m considering a midnight snack but my size 26 stomach is now 28 and a half so I’ll pass. Just in case I go missing on here again, check my Instagram. That’s where I spend most of my time these days.

One day, we’ll talk about the friends we’ve lost but until then, let’s just keep being the best friends we can be to the ones we still have. We all want to be better, and I don’t think we’re doing a lousy job. In the meantime, let’s check up on a friend we’ve not heard from in a while. What do you think?

Cheers to wholesome friendships.

Love,

‘Ruona ❤️

P.S:

I’ve missed you, I’m sorry.

I didn’t know what to title this blog post so I changed the title six times before I settled for “We don’t know what’s up”. If you have any suggestions, please put them in the comment box. If I like it, I’ll change it and give you credit.

How was the first half of 2022 for you?

Do you think friendships should be 50/50 all the time?

Have you checked up on someone you love today?

Please put your replies in the comments section below. You know how much I love reading from you 💜.