Posted in Random

We Don’t Know What’s Up.

I’ve been thinking lately.

7:21 PM, 16/06/22

Picture this: I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, cradling my laptop and musing about how I’m a pro at cooking spaghetti – there was spaghetti and fried fish in my plate 10 minutes ago but it’s empty now. “Adulthood Na Scam” by Lade is playing in the background and I’m singing along to the chorus ‘cos who can’t relate? My phone just beeped and it’s an alert. I’ve just been paid for a job. It’s safe to say that I’m an entire mood.

Today is the day I’ll complete this blog post I’ve put off for far too long. I can’t believe it’s been three months already ‘cos wasn’t March just yesterday? If you’re reading this, thank you. I don’t deserve you. I used to be the “Consistency Queen,” but life happened, and I’ve taken my crown off till I am worthy of wearing it again. I’ve missed you, and I mean it, so please believe me. I hope you’re doing great ‘cos I am. This year isn’t what I expected it to be – it’s been way better, and I’m beyond grateful.

My service year has been pretty fast. I’ll be done with NYSC and Gombe State very soon, and it’s like a movie ‘cos I’ve not even been to all the places I planned to visit. However, this was what I wanted – a service year that would not stress me, and trust me; there has been little stress. I found time to rest, hone my writing skills, earn money, and be generally productive. So far, things have been awesome… or have they?

8:45 PM, 16/06/22

Currently listening to my “I Love Jesus” playlist ‘cos it’s my favorite and I’ve switched positions so I’m lying down and my feet are dangling in the air. I took a break to check social media for a while – no messages. I’m not even surprised ‘cos I’m not toasting anyone and nobody is toasting me.

These past few months have taught me a lot, and there are some things I wish I didn’t have to learn the way I did, but it’s how life works, and lessons are inevitable. It’s better to learn from other people’s experiences rather than making those mistakes yourself ‘cos there are some mistakes you don’t come back from. I’m not the person I was a year ago because my sweat, tears, and other experiences have shaped me. I’ve re-evaluated my life and now know what I want to make out of it.

11:55 PM, 5/07/22

I’m not listening to music. There’s this cool breeze blowing and I’m sitting on my bed in a position that will most likely give me a backache. Did you notice the date? Yeah, it’s been three weeks since I started writing and I don’t remember the direction this blog post was going ‘cos I’m obviously not the same person I was three weeks ago. Don’t stop reading tho’. We’re unraveling my mind together.

Shutting everyone out isn’t always the best solution, but sometimes, we do it anyway. The best part is that you can’t even feel bad for not checking up on people if they don’t check up on you. I won’t lie and say that I didn’t feel lonely a lot ‘cos I did. Sometimes, I wanted to call my friends, and I’d change my mind ‘cos what was the point? Why couldn’t they call me instead? Not even a text? Maybe I’d imagined the friendships. I had been angry for so long until one day; I received a call from my friend out of the blue. She missed me and had been through a lot, and here I was, stuck in my world, angry because my friends didn’t call me when I could have easily done so. Life was happening to my friend, and I was being so selfish! I called my friends that week.

Friendships and relationships may not always be 50/50, and that’s okay. Just because you’re not communicating with your friends always doesn’t mean they don’t love you. We’re at a point where we want to figure out our lives, and we barely have time for small talk. We have jobs, we’re learning, we’re far from each other (let’s not go into what distance can do to friendships), and we are discovering new versions of ourselves, among other things. For this reason, we have to pick up the slack sometimes. You should care about your friend enough to want to know how they’re doing, even if it feels like you’ve been abandoned – they may be going through stuff you know nothing about.

Sometimes, we fail to realize that not everything is about us. The lives of our families and friends do not revolve around us, and we need to realize that they are also the main characters in their shows, not just supporting characters in ours. As much as we need our friends, they also need us, and if they can’t be there for us, we should be there for them. This selfishness or negligence may make us lose friendships, and nobody wants that, especially if you don’t want to do life alone.

12:50 AM, 06/07/22

I’m considering a midnight snack but my size 26 stomach is now 28 and a half so I’ll pass. Just in case I go missing on here again, check my Instagram. That’s where I spend most of my time these days.

One day, we’ll talk about the friends we’ve lost but until then, let’s just keep being the best friends we can be to the ones we still have. We all want to be better, and I don’t think we’re doing a lousy job. In the meantime, let’s check up on a friend we’ve not heard from in a while. What do you think?

Cheers to wholesome friendships.


‘Ruona ❤️


I’ve missed you, I’m sorry.

I didn’t know what to title this blog post so I changed the title six times before I settled for “We don’t know what’s up”. If you have any suggestions, please put them in the comment box. If I like it, I’ll change it and give you credit.

How was the first half of 2022 for you?

Do you think friendships should be 50/50 all the time?

Have you checked up on someone you love today?

Please put your replies in the comments section below. You know how much I love reading from you 💜.



My name is Oseruona Asak, but I'll let you call me ‘Ruona. I haven't found the perfect words to describe me yet but I’m very passionate about those things that are close to my heart, including sharing my thoughts with you.

46 thoughts on “We Don’t Know What’s Up.

  1. So glad to have you back here. I’ve been really unmotivated for a decade now😑 cause well, dealing with a lot and when I try to write, it’s hard because my brain isn’t processing anything. Well, reading this helped me feel better.
    Also, a friend hadn’t reached out to me in a month. And I said I wouldn’t reach out because omoh, are you the only one going through stuff?? Well, I decided to reach out today and turns out he’d been really ill. Well.

    Relationships TBH are not always 50-50. Sometimes you put more effort. Sometimes you want the person to put more effort. But you can’t help it if you’re a ‘carer’ . Uh. Glad to hear from you Ruona💓

    Liked by 2 people

    1. A full decade? You have been unmotivated for an entire decade?

      Wondafuu sturvs. Ah no even know wetin to talk laidis. Olorun a wa pelu yin. E pele. 😗

      Liked by 1 person

      1. 😅😅😅😅. I should say a ‘decade’ was a clearly me over exaggerating. How old am I kwanu ??
        I Sha meant for a long time now.


      2. So yh, happy to have you back!!!please remember to take life one at a time😁
        For relationships be it platonic or romantic, a 50/50 is great but, I don’t think it’s feasible-one person does more . I think what should be worked towards is understanding; with understanding in the picture, the party involved does betterin the long run. Cheers mate!😀

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi, Favour!

      I’ve missed your comments. You don’t have to overthink writing. Just write and see the beauty you’ll create. I’m happy that this post helped you feel better and I can’t wait to read from you.

      Glad you reached out to your friend and I hope he’s doing okay. Thank you for stopping by 💜.


  2. Finally got to read it. Well done on completing and putting this out babe 💜
    As for friendships, I believe that where there’s an understanding, and genuine love, friendship will flourish inspite of tough times. I’ve had to deal with a friend pretty much attacking me for not reaching out, meanwhile I’m going through shege and doing disappearing acts with social media just to calm my head. When I saw that even when I explained and apologized it was still always about her I just let things be.
    We don’t know what’s up, and adulting gets lonely, but we’re trying super hard to live full lives.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You nailed it Ruo even had to screengrab two paragraphs to my Whatsapp status, hope you don’t sue me tho 😂.

      Meanwhile, friendships should be 50/50 just as you said and no one should be entitled to anything they’re not giving. You can’t call someone your friend if the feeling isn’t to an extent mutual and so should the care and constant checkups be.

      Missed reading your work, you’re amazing 👌🏿

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Lmaooo screenshotting is allowed. You’re spreading the gospel 😂.

        I said that friendships can’t be 50/50 all the time. Sometimes when your friend can’t be available due to genuine reasons, it’s up to you to pick up the slack. However, you’re right. You should not cross oceans for people who won’t jump over a puddle for you.

        Thank you for stopping by!


  3. First of all, welcome back once again, you know you don’t have to check if I’ve read it yet, just wait for my comment 😅, apart from checking up on your friends you should also try to resolve issues with friends, I had an issue with a friend of mine we fell out and I haven’t talked to him since February and yesterday I got a call that he died last week and I’ll never get to speak to him again. So we should all try to be there for our friends whether it might seem like 10/90 or 70/30 like Ruona said some people go through a lot and might not want to burden with you with their issues/problems, so just put in the effort when you can, 5mins of talk won’t kill you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so sorry about your friend 🥺.
      It is well.

      Thank you for always reading and dropping insightful comments. You’re a major stakeholder at Ruonaahsculture.


  4. Ruona, this was so captivating, a perfect piece from start to finish. I’m so happy for your progress, peace and joys. Here’s to more of life’s pleasures 🥂 Looking forward to reading more of the good stuff

    Liked by 1 person

  5. You nailed it Ruo even had to screengrab two paragraphs to my Whatsapp status, hope you don’t sue me tho 😂.

    Meanwhile, friendships should be 50/50 just as you said and no one should be entitled to anything they’re not giving. You can’t call someone your friend if the feeling isn’t to an extent mutual and so should the care and constant checkups be.

    Missed reading your work, you’re amazing 👌🏿

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Goooooooo…… baby girl!!🤸🤸🤸.
    Wonderful piece….. Las las…we go dey alright… Adulthood is lonely mehn!!…. Having good people around helps us in striving to stay strong…. Reconnect with old folks if you can….it helps..

    Thumbs up baby ..,♥️♥️. And thanks for yesterday’s delicious dinner 🤗🤗🤗🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww you’re welcome 😂💜💜

      Adulthood can really be lonely. I’m grateful for you and all the good people in my corner. It’s like I’m coming to your house for dinner. 😚

      Thank you for reading!! 🥰


  7. I’ve missed reading a blog post from you Ruona, I was excited about the post I had to relax properly before reading 😊
    First half of 2022 was alot! ( 2022 is still a lot!😩) The days are just passing by with me feeling really fatigued and wondering why life can’t just be a bed of roses even for a day.. lol
    I forget to check up on my friends alot and I’m glad they have not given up on me yet😅.. Friendships are very vital and I cherish the ones I have but I definitely have to put in effort to nurture and grow my friendships no matter how little. It should be 100/100, both parties have to put in same effort.. Understanding is also very key.

    I’ll take this as a reminder to reach out to some of my friends.

    Thanks for the post Ruona💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww Oyiyeee!! I’ve missed your comments! 🥺💜

      Omo, I’m glad my friends haven’t given up on me too. Understanding is paramount. People who understand each other function well together! 💜💜

      Thank you for stopping by as usual 🥰


  8. Ro💜❤️
    I’ve missed you on here, welcome back 😊
    The first half of the year was partly smooth, I can’t complain.
    Friendship mustn’t always be 50/50. 💜💜💜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Unye 🤗

      I’ve missed being here too. Thank God for the first half of the year. The second half will be way better.

      I’m glad we see eye to eye.
      Thank you for reading 💜


  9. 2022 has been a lot!!! Grateful for the friendships I’ve and even tho I haven’t been my best on checking up on, I have promised myself to work on it! Welcome back Ruona . I missed reading your blog🌛

    Liked by 1 person

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