Posted in Personal

Work in Progress.

Hi, it’s me again.

I didn’t want this weekend to go without publishing because it has been a minute. I miss being consistent here and if I’m being honest, it’s not entirely my fault. I’ve been trying to catch up with life outside this blog and I haven’t had time to make time. I don’t know if this makes sense but I know you understand.

You see this whole phase? This whole “I’ve graduated from the university” phase? It’s not so simple. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that I’ve been this confused in my entire life. I love being worried about what I’m going to wear and how to settle the never ending dramas in my life but making decisions? Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s not hard.

I’ve put off writing about my life after graduation for a while because if I’m being honest, it’s not exactly sunshine and roses over here. Before you begin to say that you don’t trust me, I’ll have you know that social media lies. These past few months have been mind blowing and eye opening. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused or scared because I had my life planned out from the onset and I was so sure that I had everything figured out. I didn’t plan for unforeseen circumstances. It’s not that I lack foresight. It’s just life. Things happen, plans change, and so on but it was pretty hard for me to stop myself from drowning in self-doubt and pessimism. I have learned a lot and I’m still learning.

Weird selfie ‘cos why not?

At this age, I’m glad I know what I know now because my knowledge has made navigating through life easier for me. I’ve realized that this is the point in my life where as much as I have opportunities, there are also limitations, especially financial limitations and I know I’m not the only graduate experiencing this. I realized quite early that I’m not a business oriented person and this is because I have tried on more than one occasion to go into business but business hardly ever works out. I get jobs from time to time and honestly, I wish they were constant but you get the gist already.

Also, I’ve found that I’ve been stressing a lot this period. If you know me, you’ll know that it’s not physical stress. I just drain myself mentally because for some reason, I worry about a lot of things, mostly things that I can’t control. For example, NYSC. When do I start? Where will I be posted to? Will I like it there? Will they even have my size of uniform? The funny thing about all of this is that I know that I’ll go for service. Does this stop me from worrying? No. This is just one out of many.

Another thing is that I don’t like change. I usually find it hard to adjust so I get scared of alterations in my plans and when my plans change, especially when I don’t see it coming, it’s hard to keep my head in the game and I tend to lose focus and it doesn’t take long before I begin to wallow in self-pity and sadness until I’m able to drag myself out of that hole again.

This is a tip of the iceberg but this has been my life for the past few months. I said earlier that I’m glad that I know the things I know now because I’ve been able to identify those things that have been bothering me and instead of drowning in pessimism, I decided to do something about them.

So what are the things I’m doing to get through this annoying stage of my life?

  • I’ve decided to trust in God and in myself. I’m not going to lie and say that it’s easy because there are times when you just find it hard to believe and there are times when I even struggle to pray. There are also times when I forget to encourage myself and I’d wallow in doubt instead but I made a conscious decision not to leave God out of the equation because every single time I look back at where I’m coming from, I realize that there’s no way I would have made it this far without Him. I also decided to always keep saying words of affirmation to myself and reminding myself that I am exactly who I think I am. Anytime I begin to doubt myself, I take time out to list the things I’ve accomplished and that’s all I need to keep pushing.
  • I discovered and rediscovered my interests. Towards the end of 2020, I realized that I was beginning to lose interest in my interests and to an extent, my life was becoming monotonous because I was only doing one thing when I had the opportunity to do so much more. However, at the beginning of this year, I decided to start doing all the things I loved doing again and it has helped a lot. One of the things I love but stopped doing was reading so at the beginning of the year, I set a goal to read at least 50 books this year. I just finished my 22nd book and rediscovering this passion of mine has helped a lot because it’s easier to get lost in different worlds instead of worrying all the time. I also rediscovered my interest in food, music and my friends. It’s a beautiful ride, trust me.
  • I Changed my environment. This happened recently when I had to come back to school for clearance. I decided to stay back a bit and just enjoy this environment and honestly, it has helped a lot because I’ve gotten to see my friends, meet new people, brainstorm on different ideas and so on. It’s been refreshing. I know that I’ll soon start missing my family but the change has been worth it.

So basically, I’m chilling instead of worrying because I know that worrying won’t do me any good. I know that I’m a work in progress and while this stage of my life feels so slow, I know that I’m just starting and I’m going to do just fine. So here’s the update on my life so far in case you were wondering.

Love,

‘Ruona. ❤️

P.S:

I cannot believe that I didn’t publish in a whole month!! Did you miss me?

How have you been?

I’d like you to share one thing that was bothering you and a solution you found for the issue. Please don’t air me.

If you’re a graduate and you’re waiting for NYSC or you’re at a point in your life where things seem so slow, how are you holding up?

To the older ones in this life game, how was it for you when you graduated? What doubts did you face? Any advice?

Please make use of the comment box below. You know how much I love reading from you! 💜

Author:

I'm Oseruona Asak, popularly known as 'Ruona. I think it’s weird that I cannot describe myself perfectly but I’m passionate about those things that are close to my heart, including sharing my thoughts with you.

17 thoughts on “Work in Progress.

  1. Life basically has been bothering. Life at your early 20’s. But just like you said I try not to worry even though that’s inevitable but I still have to put an effort not to worry too much. And prayer of cause. Nice write up. Thank you for this.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m not out of the uni yet but I totally get you. Life is really not easy and the hurdles never stop coming but we conquer anyways. You’d be great Ruona. ❤️ & 💡

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ruona, I can’t be grateful enough for this blog post. I sincerely thought I was the only one overthinking and worrying about Nysc and the future. I am so happy I am not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I missed youuuuu. School has been bothering me, trying to finish the course outline and actually understand it. I’ve been trying to read at least one topic a day. I’m still not consistent but it’s a little better now.
    Don’t bother yourself too much about what’s next (I know it’s easier said) just flex a little. 🎈

    Like

  5. We can only trust God and be patient. I just turned 20 and throughout my teenage years I’ve been on the hightrack and now I’m slow and nothing’s really going on in my life. I feel overwhelmed,I feel like I’m slow.Funny right??Most of my mates are still in their first or second year in University,yea,but it doesn’t help.Evertbody says u are still very young and that makes it frustrating enough. Nevertheless I’m very grateful for me and for my achievements.We can only hope and pray, worrying will and never will change anything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel you on the “nothing is really going on”. One thing I know is that despite the fact that this stage of life is quite confusing and frustrating, it’s just a passing phase and one day, we’ll look back and laugh about it.

      You’re doing just fine.
      We’re doing just fine.

      Like

  6. All I can say is never give in to depression or give up on life,just keep on pushing whilst making smart decisions and believing in God.
    Life is a battle ground so keep on fighting and hope that God crowns your effort in his infinite mercy and favor with good success.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You even know what to do sef, yup doing what you can and trusting God is definitely the way to go, lemme not lie and say I missed you lol, but it’s good to read another blog post from you, ehen… You’ll not see your size of nysc uniform 🤣 you’ll have to beg pesin to cut for you. Life can be overwhelming sometimes sha, you just have keep trusting that lass lass we go dey alright, God dey 🤩.

    Like

  8. You have a lot of potential, give yourself time to grow, go through every phase, the good, the bad and the ugly, they all play a specific role in helping you become who you are meant to be. Most of the best ideas I ever got came from overthinking, it’s good but know when to take a break and just breathe. You’re only human. Take things easy but still be in control of everything. I’m sure you’ll figure everything out. Don’t sha forget me when you blow because I know you will. ❤️

    Like

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